Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...the cinematic version of Putin's Russia...

Let me explain...

Looks like 'em.  Mostly.  The lips and the noses are kind of freaky.  Sort of throw a viewer off.  Then, you see them in the film, and they tower over the humans, as opposed to the way they are portrayed through most of their assorted media history, going all the way back to Eastman and Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 from Mirage Studios in 1984 (now quite the collector's item book, if you can get a 1st printing in mint condition).  That is the thing that is the big seller for them, besides the contradictory concept of reputedly slow critters as speedy masters of stealth and martial arts.

Now, that aside, on the surface, you have the elements there.  The personalities seem intact.  Once you get past the physical differences, charm should take you a long way.  However, they aren't on there enough.  This turns into the April O'Neil extravaganza, with Megan Fox as the titular reporter on the case.  We are here to see the Turtles, though, so this gets out of balance pretty quickly.

Oh yeah, they are into pizza.  We got it.

And, well...now that we've gotten past the obligatory characterization, Michael Bay (producer) has gotten bored and muscled the irrelevant director aside to blow some stuff up.  And some more stuff.  And yet, some more stuff.

Frankly, I'm tired of Michael Bay taking nostalgia, transmuting it to greenbacks and using them to perform personal hygiene after unsightly bodily functions take place.

The Turtles are better than that.  Oh, the Putin comparison?  There is a director on there, who has a decent body of work so far.  Battlefield Los Angeles was a decent alien invasion flick.  But it is clear that he was kind of pushed aside by the stronger personality of Michael Bay, just as Medvedev gets from Putin.  Even when Putin isn't "in charge" of the Russian Federation, he is.  So...if you see Michael Bay in the "producer" role...don't believe it for a second.

Not in the movies anyway.

But, poor Turtles, they get the abuse, and probably more, because the movie has made money, has muscled Guardians of the Galaxy out of the top spot (though all indications show that Guardians likely has the far longer legs, and the smart money shows that not only will it probably retake the top spot, it is going to be the big money maker of the year, so that's ok) and a sequel has been greenlit.

Well, the original film is still on disc and I've still got my comix.

Damn you, Michael Bay.  Viva la Turtles.

Better for you Turtle fans, enjoy...

History of Future Folk-Hondo Means So Much

I could have sworn I had reviewed this film already.  But going through my list, I'm not seeing it, despite owning it for quite awhile.  It was one of the films I viewed and added to my collection while based in Korea.  Ah well, now having seen the duo perform live, let's talk about it all.

I first heard about this as a film from a writeup I read on Harry Knowles' Ain't It Cool News.  Being an indie film fan, especially science fiction and looking for different stories, off the beaten path, a tale describing itself as the first sci-fi, folk, musical, comedy...well really, it is uncategorizable, this film definitely occupies a unique realm by itself.  I batted this around in my head a bit myself and came up with "A Mighty Wind" meets "The Day The Earth Stood Still".  Not quite there, but close.

But what you have is the tale of the mightiest warrior from the planet Hondo (HONDO!), General Trius (Nils Daulaire), sent to Earth to prep it for colonization via a bio doomsday weapon.  But right when he was about to set it off, he experienced something he never had before.  Music.  See, on Hondo, they don't have music, and when he heard it, it gripped his heart something fierce.  He could not go through with it.  So he settled on Earth, found a wife, had a kid and pursued a triple life of musician/engineer/groundskeeper.  All the while, he attempted to communicate with his world to let them know what he had found.  One day, they send an "assassin", (Mighty) Kevin (Jay Klaitz), to apparently kill Trius and finish the job, but Kevin proves a somewhat inept assassin.  But a GREAT musician and partner to Trius' act, which is what he needed to take him to the next level.  So, the Hondonians come together and attempt to, quoting Dee Schnider's character, "Rock this joint!", while dealing with a series of crises of interstellar threat as well as the heart.

The band came first and the movie was intended to be a way to introduce them to the world, formalizing the Hondonian mythology building itself around the concept art band, kind of like DEVO in that respect. 

What you will get?  A fun science fiction story with lots of heart and great tunes.  It is true indie filmmaking, but makes good use of its budget and shooting location (mostly New York City).  Also, the fellas have a Marvel/Zack Schnyder connection, in that their composer for the soundtrack, Tim Williams, lists such cinematic compositions as 300, Watchmen, and Guardians of the Galaxy.  Yeah.  They ain't playing around here.

Go see the trailer, get a feel of it for yourself...

Plus, these guys have real serious musical chops and do all their own tunes and just put on a show live something amazing.

 So check them out when they come to your town.

Guardians of the Galaxy-Why Read This? Go See It. Now. But Read This Later.

Why do you need to see this?  First off...a raccoon with a machine gun...

I go all the way back to 1985 with this guy...

Then, you have these guys...

 

 

 

 

 

The originals from 1969, who get representation in the new film...

 

 

 

 

What is the point of all this, besides me playing around with the graphics stuff on this blog engine and getting some well needed practice?  The point of this is, dear reader, is Marvel Studios has done it again.  They have taken a concept that comic fans and other "knowledgable" sorts swear that "it can't be done/too obscure/too weird/too different/too big a risk", took all that defeatist sentiment and dunked it into a nearby toilet and flushed it.  Again.

 

 

Here is the thing...a great story is a great story.  And America, the world, LOVES well told superhero tales, adventure stories and spacegoing sagas.  We know this.  The well known ones with "Star..." in their titles weren't always well known.  They had to start somewhere.  Marvel Studios has managed to do what it has done through a combo of things.  Sure, canny marketing, yes.  But before that, they have picked great concepts, matched them with the kind of talent that "gets them" and can write them with distinct voices, yet have them speak to mainstream audiences...and trust them to do the work.

 

 

We get what we get, and so far, they have defied both critics and "fans".  To the benefit of us all.

 

 

And now, it is the chance of a renegade team of space adventurers who not only have a chance to show a wide audience what their comic fans have known all along, but open a window onto the cosmic side of the Marvel Universe, which really is a world unto it's own.

 

 

Big, cosmic adventure, yet through a group of alien characters who give us a human side to it all.  We go on a voyage.  And it matters to us.  We feel it.  We experience it with Peter Quill (Starlord), Rocket Racoon, Groot, Gamorra and Drax. 

 

 

Grand adventure.  Cosmic wonder.  And lots of laughs and fun.  Guardians of the Galaxy has it all.

 

 

Of course, if you followed instructions, you know this already.

 

 

I could give you a rundown of the story, which opens up with a kid listening to 10cc (I'm Not In Love) and getting abducted by aliens, after which things get weird.  But...what would be the point?  Just go see it.

 

 

Oh, biggest surprise?  Glenn Close as Nova Prime.  I liked her, a lot.  Grand space adventure, Marvel style.  With much bigger implications for the coming Marvel cinematic U.  Still here?  GO SEE IT.

 

 

Tell 'em Stoney sent you.